Well worth the wait!

 

HEALING WAYS ENCYLOPŒDIA

Self Help Ways for Healing the World

 

Copyright UN-Inma All rights reserved. May be copied with acknowledgement for non profit purposes.

 

Written from 1993 onwards. Last updated Feb 2007.

 

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The wisdom in this extensive Encyclopaedia has been drawn from the grassroots people of the East Asia Oceania Australasia Region. Consistent with their way, this wisdom is freely available on this page for non profit purposes. Now a simple secure process has been set up, so people reading and downloading this wisdom from the Region may contribute financially if they so desire. You may send a tiny amount or as much as you desire.

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PLAYING WITH POSSIBILITIES

You may want to play with these ideas and incorporate them into what's already happening.

There is a mass of ideas in this page. Everything is in alphabetical order.

Clicking the cursor on the words in blue will allow you to jump to where that concept is discussed.

Clicking on the 'back' icon will allow you to return to where you were before. A sequence of 'back' clicks allows you to retrace a few steps.

 Some of the micro-experiences may be used in micro moments - as an opportunity presents itself.

Some exercises are mentioned. You may like to experience them with your nurturing friends.

Some folk read up on a few micro-experiences each day and then seek opportunities to use them.

 

ACTION STARTERS

 This is a small sample of very simple acts that may make a difference:

  • take times to nurturer yourself:
  • self massage
  • bathing
  • hugging yourself
  • meditating
  • silent time
  • brushing hair
  • preening your environment
  • adding flowers
  • incense
  • candles
  • music
  • tidying and enhancing your personal space
  • grooming hands and feet
  • doing what you love to do for yourself
  • breath awareness
  • recall of pleasant memories
  • musing on pleasant possible futures
  • acknowledging others
  • smiling
  • being playful
  • laughing
  • random acts of kindness to self and others
  • listing simple things you do that enhance wellbeing for yourself and others
  • doing some of these wellbeing enhancing things
  • share this list with others - get them to do the same and share with you
  • list your personal resources (*)
  • use some of your resources
  • hug some one
  • create and take moments where you may use your resources and healing ways
  • respecting and celebrating diversity (*)
  • treating self and others as princesses & princes of the realm - (sovereignty (*)
  • tell stories of healing action - things that work
  • swap healing stories with others
  • have a go and let each other know
  • spotting nurturers and sharing experiences
  • noticing how nurturers do things and trying them out
  • inviting a few nurturers to share time, space and experiences
  • bringing food to share
  • creating healing contexts (*)
  • enriching possibilities (*)
  • engaging in cultural healing action (*)
  • link with volunteer support in your area
  • sharing a camp fire
  • overnight camp out with nurturers
  • small gatherings of nurturers and wellbeing seekers
  • drumming and dancing
  • gathering celebrations - one to 10 day - bring food to share
  • low risk respectful massage - clothed back and neck massage
  • fire circles for sharing micro-experiences
  • the Bondi Junction format (*)
  • the Atherton example (*)
  • using threads (*) and exercises from this page with others
  • find out about self help groups in your area - link with some that interest you
  • start self help groups
  • For support see Collective of Self Help Groups 21 Pitt St Carlton, Victoria Tel: 039 349 2301)
  • brainstorming all of the nurturers you know - linking them together
  • use any of the micro-experiences in this internet page in everyday contexts
  • use all of the above to evolve local area support groups

 

THREADS

 'Threads' are strings or sequences of jumps in this page. Here are some threads others have found useful as starters. After exploring one reference, click the 'back' icon to come back to this spot and then click the next step in the thread.

 

'Self nurturing micro-experience starter' thread:

Action starters

Sensory healing processes

Shifting arousal states

Strategies for arousal flexibility

 

'Relating with other's micro-experience starter' thread:

Attending in uptime

Listening

Reporting

Downtime

Rapport - maintaining

 

'Getting started' thread:

Action starters

Wellbeing

Beliefs and guides to action

Beliefs - good mental health

Together Approach

Celebrating diversity

Transforming

Sovereignty

Resources

Ethics

Helping

Setting up a small gathering' thread

Action Starters

Destino

Bondi Junction example

Atherton Tablelands example

Place

Frame

Frame - Frame making

Boundary making

Boundary marking

Context

Using local knowings and practical wisdoms

Using what works

Cultural Healing Action

Wellbeing

 

CONTENTS:

 

Ambiguity

Ambiguity - Phonetic

Anchoring

Atherton Example

Attending in Uptime

Awareness of Consequences

Beliefs - Good Mental Health

Binds and Double Binds

Bondi Junction Example

Calibrating

Caring for Carer

Chunking

Clearing Projections

Concentrating

Conjunctions

Conjunctions - Use of in Story Telling

Content Free Generalising

Corrective Healing Experience

Cultural Healing Action

Curious Confusion

Debriefing

Denominalising

Disclosing the Undiscussible

Dissociating

Distracting

Downtime

Embedded Suggestions, Implications, Presuppositions And Commands

Enriching

The Ergotropic and Trophotropic systems

Ethics

Flare Concepts

Frame

Frame - Deframing

Frame - Frame Making

Frame - Metaframing

Frame - Reframe

Frame - Setting up a 'Desired State' Frame

Frame - Setting up 'Interrupt' Frame

Frame - Setting up 'Need Not To Know' Frame

Future Pacing

Language

Generating Options

Helping

Inferring

Interrupt Pattern

Liminal

Listening

Listening - Process and Content

Logical Levels

Maps - Internal Representations

Metamodel

Paradoxical Healing Action

Perceptual Position

Personal Safety

Powerful Vulnerability

Presupposing

Place

Place - Becoming Familiar

Polarity Response

Pseudo Orientation in Time

Rapport - Maintaining

Rapport - Breaking

Reporting

Resolving Independently Of Cause

Resources

Safety

Sensory Healing Processes

Sensory Submodes

Separating Out 'Own Stuff'

Shifting Arousal States

Sovereignty

Softeners

Strategies and Loops

Strategies for arousal flexibility

Strategies for shifting emotional states

Synesthesia

Ultradian Rhythm

VAK

VAK Mapping

Variety

Wellbeing

Well-formedness

Concepts and Frames

List of further micro-experiences under construction

 

 

 

AMBIGUITY

Ambiguity occurs when words may have more than one meaning. Ambiguity may be intentionally used in healing. It is possible for the listener to hear one meaning at a conscious level and to also take on board further meanings at unconscious levels. These further meanings may have healing potency. This pattern may be used where for some reason the person may reject or sabotage healing ways. Refer ethics (*), awareness of consequences (*) and sovereignty (*).

 Ambiguity may be used to create curious confusion (*) or a therapeutic moment. Ambiguity is one aspect of requisite variety (*).

 Example:

'Healing people can make a big difference.'

 A sentence like this may be used, for example, in helping setting up a 'healing frame' to a context. The ambiguity in the above sentence sets up at least three possible meanings:

  • That the term 'Healing people' is referring to 'Healers'.
  • a second meaning is that 'people are being healed'.
  • a third meaning may be set up by a slight pause after 'healing' - namely, that unspecified 'people' can heal others - implying that a 'healing network' may make a big difference'.

 

Refer Fuzzy Language (*) for an example of using 'generalising' (*) and 'deleting' (*) to set up ambiguity. Refer metamodel (*).

 

AMBIGUITY - PHONETIC

 Process:

Using words that sound the same which have two or more different meanings (homonym). This pattern may be used to set up healing possibilities.

 Example A:

  It's possible to always (all ways) do something!

The first meaning implies rigidity. The second meaning (more hidden) means 'to become more flexible' - almost the opposite to the first meaning. It's possible that this second meaning can 'ring bells' at deeper levels. Sometimes just one such sentence can 'strike a chord' and 'resonate' within the person - to loosen them up. See requisite variety (*)

 Example B:

 'Changes can occur so that nuisances (new senses) can make a difference.'

 If the word 'nuisances' is sensed, it is embedded within the notion of change implied by the words 'changes' and 'difference'. The second meaning 'new senses' creates a reframe (*) of 'nuisances' and hints that we make maps or representations (*) of our senses. 'New' further strengthens the idea of change. 'Can occur' sets up a presupposition (*).

 Other examples:

sea see

cents sense

no know

sore saw soar

paw pour poor

scene seen

due dew

morning mourning

wheel we'll

The English language is full of words and expressions that provide scope for this pattern!

Keep an eye out for them. They're good to play with.

 

ANCHORING

 A typical response set up by a few repetitions of a simple stimulus. For example, the use of a young child's name accompanied by a 'tone of disapproval' can quickly set this experience for the child as a 'stop doing that' message, with resultant interrupt to behaviour. In traffic, the red traffic light means 'stop' and we use the brake; the green traffic light means 'go' and we accelerate. The lights are 'visual anchors'.

Accompany an experience, such as recalling pleasure, with perhaps a slight touch on the wrist and repeat this a few times. Soon the same wrist touch can enable ready access to pleasure. Anchoring is pervasively used in everyday life, though rarely noticed. It has wide applicability in healing. Any sub-element of any sense (eg. tone) can be used to set up an anchor to activate experience in the same or a different sense. For example, using an auditory 'tone' to stop a child touching hot ashes.

We can practice setting up an anchor by exactly repeating a simple and unique stimulus a few times when we're in a particular state. Keeping the stimulus different from others to ensure multiple anchors are not set off. Test that the anchor is working by activating the anchor when you are not in the state to see if you do activate that state. If it doesn't work, continue the process when you are in that state and repeat test .

 

 ASSIGNMENTS

 Sometimes it may be appropriate to have a person take on an assignment involving them in learning from first-hand experience. Another nurturer may enabler the person in setting up and carrying out the assignment. Any of the micro-experiences and frames within this page can be built into the assignment. The assignment can be an isomorphic metaphor (*) for contexts and aspects in the persons life. 'Isomorphic' means of similar form. The metaphor may match any one or more of the behaviors, ideas and emotions that may be part of a current dysfunctional context or more functional future potential. The assignment may create scope for corrective emotional experiences (*), allowing the person scope to use requisite variety (*) and ADT WR (*).

 

Example: 'prescribing the symptom' (*).

A person is overweight. This person has the habit of having her refrigerator filled with food 'in case friends dropped in' - tons of icecream and plenty of chocolate cake. The assignment is set up such that she is to give away, or throw out all the food currently in her fridge and elsewhere in her home. She has to find a food store two kilometres away and go on foot and only purchase food for herself for that day. She is only to eat food purchased by her self. She has to carry the food back in her arms. Any food not consumed within a day is to be discarded and fresh food purchased the next day. The assignment structures physical exercise everyday. She can also feel the weight of the food first-hand. As well, the person is given the assignment to put on exactly two kilograms in weight.

She returns after two weeks having put on the two kilograms. She is then given the frame 'that for this fortnight, your weight has been under your control.'

For the next two weeks she is to continue her routine and has to put on one more kilogram. Again she fulfils the assignment and puts on the one kilogram.

During the first four weeks of the assignment she has walked an extra 112 kilometres. Fifty six of these involve carrying all her food. All the exercise is increasing metabolism and she is gaining physical tone. The next assignment is to lose three kilograms 'as she is now getting better at having her weight under her control'.

Again she fulfils the assignment. Each week thereafter the assignment is to loose a certain level which she does achieve.

In enabling a person to take on a personal assignment, part of the nurturer's task may be to:

  • calibrate (*) what is going on for the person,
  • help fit 'courses for 'horses'', or in the example above, an over-weight person.
  • create contexts where the person is highly motivated or even compelled to comply.
  • help set up the assignment so that the person does do it in every detail.

 We may think about how we could so challenge or engage the other person so they do do the assignment. As well, the nurturer may use any one or more of the micro-experiences in this page to complement the healing work done on the assignment with other healing ways. Both the nurturer and the other person may use requisite variety (*) that is, if something does not work, try something else.

 

ATHERTON TABLELANDS EXAMPLE

 The following is an examples of one fortnight of Laceweb activity around the town of Yungaburra on the Atherton Tablelands in 1994:

 

  • Virtually all of the children of Yungaburra (over 40) prepare atmospherics for New Year Party.
  • Approximately 150 adults and children attend the party with half being aboriginal and islander families.
  • Funpo, a children's group forms in Yungaburra. Over 40 join.
  • Forty at rainforest campout on Baron River, Kuranda. Spontaneous workshops on healing ways
  • Bus load comes in for night dance party in the rainforest.
  • Another campout at Ravenshoe attended by people from Bama Healing Prison Diversion Program and others. Spontaneous healing workshops/play-shops
  • A series of family therapy sessions for an Aboriginal extended family.
  • Setting up possibilities for Small Island Gathering
  • Visited eight Aboriginal communities sharing healing ways about festivals
  • Visited eighteen potential sites for festivals on Aboriginal land - one was used for the Small Island Gathering.
  • Visited resources in the area that may have potential for laceweb action
  • Had a series of gatherings with nurturers in Atherton about self help action

 

ATTENDING IN UPTIME

 Having all senses focused in the present and attending to what is happening in the here and now external reality. What is happening before us becomes the centre of sustained attention. Attending in uptime is invaluable in maintaining rapport and relating to others. In contrast, to attend to internal experience such as imagined experience or recall of past experience is called 'attending to downtime'. Refer concentrating (*), rapport (*), listening (*), reporting (*), becoming familiar (*) maps (*) and downtime (*).

 

AWARENESS OF CONSEQUENCES

 Actions have consequences. It's possible to act without considering or taking account of consequences. This may lead to harm and strife. An awareness of possible and likely consequence may guide action. Some wonderful healing action can be ecologically intuitive with no prior idea of specific consequences and everything may proceed within an ethical (*) 'safety (*) frame (*). A sense of personal safety (*) and ecology (*) may suggest that we do have an 'awareness of consequences' in enabling support for this person at this time, context and place. An 'if this, then that' strategy (*) can be used to generate options (*) and possible outcomes.

 Anchoring (*) may be used to set up:

  • a sense of personal safety
  • a signal to beware of consequences (*)
  • a signal to use an 'if this, then that' strategy

 

BELIEFS - GOOD MENTAL HEALTH

Good mental health, like good physical health, is more than just the absence of illness. To live reasonably well in modern society requires an understanding of health in all its aspects.

 

For an individual:

 Good mental health is a consistent sense of positive well-being.

 

For the neighbourhood and the nation

 Mental fitness is the belief, perhaps unspoken, that most communities have a general resourcefulness that makes possible a vigorous, harmonious and creative way of life in which all citizens can find a pathway to reach their potential.

 Such a hopeful philosophy requires that we be positive and deliberate in caring for our own health. It also requires that the laws, institutions and customs we give our assent to should be such that healthy way of life is possible and indeed encouraged.

Our chances of health are influenced by our genetic inheritance and by the circumstances and conditions in which we grow and mature. What are the factors involved? There are many understandings: Maori people speak of the four cornerstones of health:

  • taha wairua (spirituality)
  • taha hine naro (mental aspects)
  • taha whanau (the family and social group)
  • taha tinana (the body).  

If any dimension is threatened, the wairoa (total well-being) is threatened.

 A similar approach has five aspects: 

  • Physical
  • Intellectual
  • Emotional
  • Social
  • Spiritual.

 

BINDS AND DOUBLE BINDS

 A person is in a bind if something is happening and there is little if anything they can do about it. Often people don't recognise the bind and this non-recognition contributes to them being stuck.

 A double bind is where there is absolutely nothing they can do about it.

 It is possible to set up therapeutic double binds so the person MUST change.

Example: 

The following example was very powerful for the women concerned and produced profound change. It involved a person who stated that she was continually getting into terrible situations with men because she could not say 'NO!" In a healing group context a male nurturer said, 'Say 'No!' to me!'. The person either had to say 'No!' or refuse to say 'No!' which was also a 'No!' The nurturer had placed her in a therapeutic double bind - that is, in a bind and there is nothing she can do about it. Additionally, this bind has healing potential.  

She went into a passionate confused dilemma and with emotion building started yelling, 'No!, No! No!' many times with great emotional force until she was completely spent and with tears and smiles hugged the nurturer for helping her. She later reported that she could say 'no'. Notice that being in the healing group context (*) and the healing frame (*) and subtle aspects of the nurturers being are aspects that may well have enhanced the therapeutic nature of the bind. Refer attending (*), listening (*), representations (*) and rapport (*). 

Refer awareness of consequences (*), sovereignty (*), ethics (*), safety, and personal safety (*).

 

BONDI JUNCTION EXAMPLE

 During the late eighties an enabling group of around 20 evolved a dispersed urban Laceweb therapeutic community in the Bondi Junction area. During it's life of about eighteen months about 145 people became involved. Regular healing gatherings were arranged with other happenings, events and healing sharings taking place on an ad hoc basis.

 During the regular 'sharing' days, anyone enabling a group session had around a minute and a half to have people 'doing', and learning by doing. 'Show ponies' who wanted to show off their grand theories got a gentle caring wind-up at 60 seconds, and told gently to give up at ninety seconds if they were still talking. 'Watch how others do it and have another go next time! Using this 'action frame' participants gained a very wide range of healing micro-experiences. Friendships were formed. No one had to be alone for Christmas dinner. The community was mutually supporting.

Around 50 attended the regular healing sharing days that were held in a private home. People brought food to share. We had regular mini banquets throughout the day. A few minutes before we 'returned to session' was 'preening time'. Everyone would do a minute of housework. 50 people doing a minutes housework six times on the day and the place was always super tidy by the end of the day. All plates and cups were always washed and ready for the next banquet!

 

CALIBRATING 

Specifying in detail: 

Some people make very impoverished and or problematic maps of their experience. Calibrating another's maps provides scope to enable the other person to make more richer or ecological (*) maps or representations (*) of their world and the possibilities open to them.

As a simple example, some people may think and speak using extensive deletions (*). Refer language metamodel (*). 

Example: 'I am upset'.  

Typically they are upset about something or somebody in the past, present or future. Details have been deleted.

 

Other examples:

 

'We are going tomorrow.'

 

'Where?', 'With whom? and 'When?' has been deleted. 'Going' is poorly specified - 'How are you going?''

 

It may be that the person is being 'closed' - just doesn't want to talk much right now. If this 'deleting' pattern is sustained, it may be more than being 'closed. It may indicate that the person is regularly leaving all the deleted material out of the representations (*) they make of their world. That is, they may be operating with very impoverished maps.  

Helping a 'deleter' recover deleted material may assist such a person in having richer maps. 

Refer sensory submodalities (*) and creating possible futures (*).

 

CARING FOR CARER 

Nurturing may drain energy and be very wearing. A strong sense of personal safety (*) may allow us to pace ourselves and monitor our resourcefulness, energy levels and indicators of stress (eg. check breathing).  

Ethical (*) concerns also call for withdrawing support when our own capacity to be of help is very low to the point of not been helpful to the other. There is virtue in developing and calling upon a support network who may monitor fellow carers.

 

CHUNKING 

Sometimes we attend to large chunks of a context. Sometimes to we attend to small chunks. Sometimes shifting the size of the chunk we are attending to can be valuable. 

 

Example A - Stopping irritation 

A young child is teething - it's crying and irritable and throwing food on the ground. These 100's of small moments throughout the day may have the potential to escalate irritation in adults. However, all these potentially irritating moments may become as nothing, as the parent from time to time makes momentary shifts in downtime (*). They may tap into the big picture - of experiencing the glow of pride now in seeing the child developing to adulthood and making his or her way in the world - a shift in the chunk-size being attended to, from 'small' to 'big'. The parent's reflections may take in possible wonderful futures and takes pleasure in these.

 

Example B - Interrupting overwhelm 

Overwhelmed person: 'There's 1,000s arriving tomorrow for the gathering and I have to set up this whole water system by tonight!'

Nurturer: 'Is that a left-hand or right-hand thread?'

The person refocuses the overwhelmed person's 'chunk size' from 'total system' to 'small component'.

 

CLEARING PROJECTIONS 

A person 'X' may see in person 'Y', problematic aspects of X's own life that is really not present in Y's life. This is called 'projecting'. For example, Peter says, 'John you shouldn't be telling people what to do all the time and judging and condemning'. Peter is doing precisely what he is telling John not to do! If Peter is doing these behaviours continually, and John virtually never does it, then typically Peter is projecting. Ensuring that we are not projecting while in the enabler role may assist the nurturer to focus on issues that are present in the other. It also helps in being clear about the enabling. Refer 'separating out own stuff' (*) and 'awareness of consequences' (*).

 

CONCENTRATING 

Concentrating on something(s) means that we are not concentrating or attending to something else. For example watching internal imagery tends to interrupt seeing externally. Attending to the arrival of a dear friend whom we have not seen for a while may mean we do not notice a head ache. We can use this capacity for healing - focusing on the desired states and outcomes, and disconnecting from the aversive. Refer associating (*), attending in uptime (*), down time (*), distracting (*) and dissociating (*).

 

CONJUNCTIONS 

In making sense of language, the mind tends to chunk what is joined by conjunctions. Examples of conjunctions are: 

  • and
  • so that
  • and so
  • so 

We anticipate links. For example:

 

Westerners hearing the sentence fragments 

'knife, fork and .....' would anticipate 'spoon'.

'cup and .....' would anticipate 'saucer'

'lock and....' would anticipate 'key'

'Conjunctions' may be used to link ideas (sentences and sentence fragments). 

Example: 

The gathering is Sunday.

You may like to come along. 

These two sentences can be linked by saying: 

'The gathering is Sunday and you may like to come along.' 

This new sentence links together something obviously true (the gathering on Sunday) with a suggestion (you may like to come along). Note that the last two words are an embedded command (*).

 

Linking 'suggestions' to 'things obviously true' 

It has been found that if a suggestion is linked to a number of things that are obviously true, the suggestion also tends to be accepted.  

Pattern: 

Use conjunctions to link three obviously true statements to one or more suggestions. Repeat this pattern till you obtain outcome - for example, a shift to profound relaxation. 

Example: 

'While you're resting there and the chair is comfortable and you have your feet up, you're already beginning to slow down, and you have set this time aside for relaxing, and that's a good thing because it can refresh us, and so perhaps you can, make yourself even more comfortable now ...' 

The pattern in the above example: 

Obviously true: 

You are resting there.

The chair is comfortable.

You have your feet up.  

Suggestion: 

You're already beginning to slow down. 

Obviously true: 

You have set this time aside for relaxing.

Relaxing is a good thing.

Relaxing can refresh us.  

Suggestion: 

Perhaps you can make yourself even more comfortable now 

Linking two presuppositions to three things which are obviously true 

Presuppositions and assumptions may also be more easily accepted when linked to things which are obviously true. 

Example: 

Because the harvesting is starting next week it's celebration time so people from the next village have been invited to a big feast and while that's happening we may explore healing ways that work and share micro-experiences. 

Because the harvesting is starting next week (obviously true)

it's celebration time so (obviously true)

people from next village have been invited (obviously true)

to a big feast (obviously true)

and (conjunction)

while (sets up presupposition)

that's happening (obviously true)

we may (softener)

explore healing ways that work (presupposition)

and (conjunction)

share micro-experiences' (presupposition)

 

This pattern may be used in many ways for healing. Refer presuppositions (*), ethics (*), helping (*) awareness of consequences (*), and sovereignty (*).

 

CONJUNCTIONS - USE OF IN STORY TELLING: 

Healing storytellers tend to use conjunctions to join virtually all sentences so that the story flows along with differing things all linked together. This tends to become both engrossing and enchanting and draws us into the story reality and away from everyday life. Framing the context as 'story telling' sets up a 'context role' for the other as 'listener'. It also removes any of the normal indicators that it is the listener's turn to speak. Refer example from Distracting (*).

 

Example from The Prince and the Hag (Conjunctions are in italics.) 

'Once upon a time there was a young prince who was so bossy everyone was heartily sick of him and he couldn't wait to be king so everyone would have to do what he wanted, and he became very sick himself and all of the healers tried to heal him and he was sick to death of all this and yet he just got sicker and sicker until he thought he would die, and finally one of the healers said, 'Only the old Hag at the edge of the world can save you', so he orders them to take him to the old hag, and as they reach where she lives the healers become afraid and run away and hide and the old hag appears unto him and he says, 'Hag, I am your Prince and you have to heal me, for I fear I will die', and the old hag says, I will obey you this time, but on one condition - you have to marry me first',

 

Refer Sovereignty (*). 

Further example in using conjunctions with other healing patterns:

'Perhaps you can begin to settle down now, and it may well be that things can change without you having to do anything, as heart rate, and breathing, and all sorts of internal processes, can settle down without you needing to do a thing, and you can do any shifts that will make you even more comfortable now, and ....' 

The healing patterns in this example are explored in 'Embedded suggestions, implications, presuppositions and commands (*). You may want to use this example to see if you can identify the healing patterns that it contains before shifting to the Embedded suggestion link.

 

CONTENT FREE GENERALISING 

Using content free generalising allows the other their sovereignty (*) and the freedom to explore and enrich their own wellbeing (*). 

The process: 

Use generalisations (*) that have no content to allow the other person to add their specific meaning to what we are saying. Our words do not have 'content'. The hearer adds his or her own meaning to our words. 

Example: 

'Perhaps you have some things you may want to work on in new ways. And you may have some concerns and other things we can explore and some aspects you may want to follow up later.'

The words in italics are generalisations: 

  • 'some things' leaves them to identify the specific aspects they want to explore 
  • 'work on' leaves it open as to how specifically they want to engage in healing - how open they will be - how far they want to go, and when to stop 
  • 'in new ways' frames the context as 'healing change' and opens the possibility of trying out new ways while leaving them the sovereign of what may or may not happen 
  • 'some concerns' They may identify, specify, disclose, explore and possibly resolve whatever concerns they may want. 
  • 'other things' Prompts reflecting on a number of aspects of their lives apart from concerns. 
  • 'explore' Leaves open the specifics of what may happen. 
  • 'some aspects' This prompts them to sort out from those things that come to mind, things that they may want to defer till another time. It sets a frame of 'continuing the healing process' into the future and sets up a prompt for them to 'file away' things for future healing moments. 
  • 'follow up' Sets up a frame of 'continuing the healing' while allowing them maximum scope to make decisions about this. 
  • 'later' Leaves open as to when other aspects may be followed up.

 

CORRECTIVE HEALING EXPERIENCE 

Sometimes one experience can heal, such that we never forget the learning associated with the healing. Touching the stove burns! 

Old man, a respected Australian Aboriginal elder set up contexts rich in possibilities for corrective emotional experiences to occur during the six weeks youths typically stay with him. Events that happen may be framed as healing experience by Old Man and he, or any of the boys, may pick up on the learnings - enhancing (*) and anchoring (*) them. Refer assignments (*).

 

CULTURAL HEALING ACTION 

Every artistic aspect of a culture (a way of life) may be used for nurturing healing. 

Examples: 

  • music
  • drumming, percussion and body percussion
  • dance
  • drama and spontaneous drama
  • chanting
  • play and games
  • clowning
  • aromas
  • circus
  • singing, chanting, toning, humming and vocalising
  • adventure challenges
  • spontaneous choir
  • theatre
  • visual arts
  • sculpture, carving and moulding
  • literature
  • creative writing
  • drawing
  • painting
  • poetry
  • group dynamics
  • story-telling  

Cultural healing action draws on influences from traditional and other cultures around the World, especially from the Philippines, though not simple applied. 

Cultural healing action may run for less than an hour to several days (or weeks). People may be involved in energetic and not so energetic games and activities. 

Enablers may have a broad concept of activities and possibilities for the time together. The process may start out with some structure or context, or a felt need of the participants. After a time, activities and games may begin to emerge (*) out of the spontaneous responding of the participants, with action evolving from the energy and inclination of the moment.  

In a very real sense, the participants evolve their own experience together. Enablers may be there as resource people, though never as directors or gurus.  

Cultural healing action tends to be 'wellbeing' based rather than 'issue' based, although issues may both emerge and be resolved. Contexts may be created allowing states of wellbeing to emerge. Typically, liminal (*) experiences create fertile contexts (*) with emergent properties (*). People begin exploring new ways of being in the world together and in the process, issues tend to cease to be. Action may place people into 'desired states' so that prior problematic behaviours are no longer a concern. To explore 'why' they used to do something when people have now changed becomes a some-what irrelevant exercise. Finding who was 'at fault' in prior behaviours is not particularly ecological or useful. Refer 'resolving independent of cause (*). 

In keeping with the previous paragraph, action focuses on what is wanted, rather than on what is not wanted. Often enabler suggestions to explore what is wanted will have people talking about what the do not want. This may be reframed to being 'exploring what we do want. 

Participants of all ages may explore creative and artistic ways of examining local cultural wellbeing matters that concern the participants and their communities. Generative wellbeing acts may result in many issues ceasing to be.  

Examples:  

generative wellbeing acts such as: 

  • being well
  • being flexible
  • assuring habitat
  • assuring food
  • assuring land
  • assuring clean water
  • good housing
  • playful healing ways
  • having choice
  • fun
  • playfulness
  • sharing joy
  • giving recognition
  • mutual supporting
  • sharing what works
  • increasing flexibility
  • resolving issues such as:
    • loneliness
    • fatigue
    • boredom
    • purposelessness
    • violence
    • powerlessness
    • torture
    • trauma
    • grief
    • sexual abuse
    • suicide
    • correctional healing action
    • alcohol abuse
    • drug abuse

Participants may create short plays, songs and rhythms, poems, stories, dances, murals and postcards, and other materials about these things. A strong sense of group and community bonding may develop or be strengthened. Often others - friends and relatives - may join in towards the finish of the gatherings to experience performances, games, and perhaps an exhibition of artistic products. Typically, participants have rarely, if ever, participated in artistic expression before.  

To casual observers, people's cultural healing action may appear to be a curious mix of childlike activities, where grown-ups, adolescents and children may sing simple songs, work with crayons, pens, markers, pencils, chalk and coloured paper, and play games.

 

Some of the processes:  

Social Mapping. Participants may explore the function of personal and community maps (*) and their significant features. They may construct social maps, or maps of their community's or their individual concerns; detailing points of origin, the destination, the landmarks and signposts, etc. - using cut-outs, drawings, and found objects. The creation of social maps may focus on producing graphic and directional representations of individual and community wellbeing aspirations, ideal situations, and possible courses to take. Refer creating futures (*). 

Conflict Studies. Conflict may be a motive force for art - as in life. Recognising this, in some contexts, games and exercises exploring the various kinds of conflict may make up a significant portion of the early life of some cultural healing action. Physical conflict may be explored through such games as Tug-of-War, Dragons Tail, and various group Tag games. These may illustrate the tension that may evolve if force is used, particularly to oppose. The value of unified action, cooperative teamwork and therapeutic mediating ways in conflict resolving situations may be highlighted. Contexts may be rich with possibilities to incorporate/ embody any of the healing ways you know and those included in this page. 

Jog-Freeze is a verbal conflict experience - participants jog in a circle and when two or three people are tagged, the jogging stops. Then the tagged people come into the centre of the circle and have an improvised healing mediation (*) and seek to understand each other's maps (*). These little segments are then discussed to explore factors that sustain and resolve conflicts. 

Hidden disagreement may be explored by assigning subtexts (for example, undisclosed agendas, attitudes, motives and outlooks) to participants, then having them interact showing only a 'superficial character' embodying a totally different subtext to the world. As an example a person may have an open subtext of 'Act strong because life is a jungle and it is the survival of the fittest'. This may be linked with a hidden one of 'Do not trust anyone - people only use you up'. Participants eventually try to discover each others' subtexts as part of their differing maps (*) as a source of obvious, but implicit conflict among themselves. These processes provide rich opportunities to use many of the micro-experiences contained in this page (refer rapport (*), attending in uptime (*), listening (*), reporting (*), representations - maps (*), and metamodel (*).

 

Image Theatre and Forum Theatre.  

The conflict exercises may naturally progress to image theatre, a basic device used in enriching wellbeing for issue dissolving. Participants often divide into groups of at least five, and each group devises three tableaux (frozen postures, attitudes, images and dialogue) depicting: 

  • the present state, concern or conflict situation
  • the transition phases - the dynamics of change evolving
  • the desired, ideal or resolved state

Forum theatre builds from image theatre. The situations presented in the group in stages can now be developed into a more fluid dramatic piece, complete with movement, sound, etc. The participants (still divided into groups) develop the piece either completely (ie., an aspect of wellbeing is enriched - a concern is resolved) or up to a crisis point only. Pieces are then performed with others as observers. Members of this audience stop the performance any time a person has concerns about what is being presented. During the replay, people stopping the performance do not to talk about why they want to change something. Rather they assume the role of the actor concerned or simply add another actor in the drama. The process can go on until the audience agrees that the performance offers a rich representation of the wellbeing enriching process. 

If the performance is one that stops at a crisis point, the audience supplies a resolution to the crisis. As many actors again from the audience may rise to modify the piece. At the very end of these processes, a forum may be held with everybody present involved to further explore the presentations. Forum theatre thus becomes a process for dismantling the alienation between actors and audience typical of formal theatre. It also may serve as a rehearsal for action in the real conflict situations represented in the pieces . The healing cultural activities and dynamic 'group relating' may provide corrective (*), remedial and generative emotional experiences that may lead to personal and group concerns actually being healed/resolved during the process of exploring them. At the same time participants may be gaining competencies that they may use in the future. 

Cultural healing action may enable healing potential within therapeutic space. It may create opportunities for exploring inner experience and outer reality - exploring the space between 'appears to be real' and 'experientially real', ie. what is felt somatically (in the body) - enriching the capacity of 'individual self' and the 'collective self' - as healer/actor in experiencing 'safe abandon' - surrendering to the unfolding moment and catching the flow - re-experiencing early childhood preplay processes of embodiment, projecting and role, dramatic play - exploring within the 'personal theatre' of the individual and community and creating the healing theatre of the group as a whole. The above processes may be used to enrich wellbeing while gaining the requisite micro-experiences in the process. 

Healing Cultural Action involves actively fostering and sustaining cultural wellbeing. It fosters people extending their own culture as a balance to other cultures that may be dominant, elitist and oppressive. As well, it is a movement for intercultural reconciliation and wellbeing.  

It may foster the development of Quick Response Healing Teams to resolve local community and international conflict. It may provide scope for people to actively engender and promote values, language, practices, modes of action, arts and other aspects of a way of life (culture). These in turn may enable social emancipation, intercultural healing, cultural justice, as well as social and environmental wellbeing.

 

CURIOUS CONFUSION 

Generally people do not want to be confused. However being both confused and very curious is an excellent state for learning. It leaves one open to new ways of perceiving. The taken-for-granted is on hold. A state of curious confusion is laden with liminal (*) possibilities. Refer the Interrupt pattern (*) for an example of the healing use of curious confusion.

 

DEBRIEFING 

Laceweb processes may sometimes have enablers and nurturers simultaneously charged up with excess arousal, and drained - like having the accelerator and brake on simultaneously. People may assist others and themselves in clearing unwanted states and renewing energies. Typically, a return to relaxed energised resourcefulness is valuable. Later if desired, in a resourceful state, the outcomes of the prior enabling/nurturing may be explored. Refer 'caring for carer' (*), shifting arousal states (*), liminal (*) and ultradian rhythm (*). 

Processes: 

  • Discharging through arm and hand flicking
  • Bathing hands and face
  • Dissociating (*) from the previous context
  • Submodality shifting (*) eg dissociated (*) distancing
  • The cleansing breath of awareness (*)
  • Bio-energetic process (*) - eg marginal leg raise (*); flat foot stomp (*)
  • The posture of powerful vulnerability (*)
  • Fast awareness shifting (*)
  • healing-movement (*) especially spine, neck and shoulders.

 

DENOMINALISING 

In Indo-European languages, nouns may imply a reality that is more greater or more substantial than that of a verb or adjective. A noun can imply that there is a 'thing' that 'exists' - that has a name. There's the idea that once a thing is named we somehow know something. 'Oh, he has 'attention deficit disorder'. Once verbs have been nominalised (turned into a noun form) we tend to sense that there is a 'substance' behind each kind of action. When this has happened - when the notion of a 'substance' has been created, it's all too easy to assume a substantial reality behind the word. We suggest, that for many nouns, this is problematical. 

To put this another way, people pervasively turn active process into the passive and static by the shift from verb to noun - from 'doing' to 'thing' - for example, from 'failing' to 'failure'. 

One wit said problematic 'nominalisations' are nouns you can't fit into a wheelbarrow. 

For example the noun 'failure' - you can't put 'failure' into a wheelbarrow. Other examples are 'decisions', 'jealousy', and 'aggression'. 

Let's say a person says: 

'I am a failure!' 

It sounds so final, so fixed. The verb 'to be' (I am. You are. S/he is) sets up an air of certainty. It is the case! 'You are a failure!' And it sounds so all pervasive; a failure at everything under the sun. 'What a reject!' 

Consider what happens when we 'de-nominalise', that is, shift from the noun 'failure' back to the verb 'failing'. We now get the sense of a very different and circumscribed on-going process - that is in no way static. It may change. 

The new sentence: 

'I am failing.' 

invites us to explore further. 

We may guess that the deep structure (*) of this sentence is something like : 

'Someone is somehow failing, sometimes, somewhere, in some context, in relating somehow with someone or more, in doing or not doing something, somehow, and feeling somehow as a consequence.' 

Immediately we can see that a lot of what may be 'going on' has been 'left out' of, or deleted, (*) from the first sentence. As well, it contains 'generalisations' (*) and 'distortions' (*). 

To begin to specify generalisations we may ask: 

How specifically are you failing? 

The response we look for is 'generalisations specified'.  

To recover deletions we may ask: 

  • With whom?
  • At what?
  • When?
  • Where?

The responses we are looking for are 'deletions recovered'.

The distortion lies in the universal all pervasive mood implied by the word 'failure'

The response we are looking for is distortion removed

The other questions can begin to put what's happening into a more dynamic frame that the person can do something about. 

Answers to the above questions can lead to healing action. For example: 

Other: 'I am a failure!'

Nurturer options: 'What have you been failing at?' (recover deletion)

Then:

'How specifically? ( specify generalised verb) 

The language metamodel (*) can then be used to specify the persons map (*) or internal representation of what is going on. 

Nominalisations almost invariably involve generalising (*) the underlying verb and deleting (*) and distorting (*) contexts (*) content (*), process (*) and meanings (*) - refer language metamodel (*). 

People may easily become overwhelmed by creating lists of unresolved issues in noun form. For example a group of bureaucrats created the following list of unresolved issues: 

  • lousy decisions
  • delegation problems
  • control problems
  • profit
  • liquidity
  • morale
  • cooperation
  • coordination
  • recognition
  • remuneration 

After making the list, you could see the energy drain out of them. 'The same old chestnuts!' This was followed by a group sigh of resignation, or to denominalise, they were all resigning from taking action. What would your reaction be if you were given this list of things to resolve? 

Notice the 'feel' of the list when it is denominalised. 

nominalisation denominalising 

lousy decisions deciding 

delegation problems delegating 

control problems controlling 

profit being profitable 

liquidity having sufficient money 

morale feeling good 

cooperation cooperating 

coordination coordinating 

recognition recognising 

remuneration remunerating 

 

The second list virtually tells you what to do. The words are expressed as process and action. The words themselves prompt clues in resolving the issues. 'How specifically? What? With whom?' 

Which list would you prefer to resolve? Probably neither! Though it demonstrates healing possibilities

 

DISCLOSING THE UNDISCUSSIBLE 

Often a group of people will refrain from discussing certain things, particularly if discussion will activate aversive consequences and 'up the ante' - increasing uneasiness, aggression, anger, depression and the like. Often this non-discussing is also never discussed, and this 'second - level' non-discussing in turn is not discussed. Having problematic aspects of life that are never discussed may create binds (*). If the non-discussing is not noticed by anyone involved, then everyone may be in a bind, and there is little any of those involved will ever do about it. If the non discussing is non-discussible, it may slide into a double bind - and from within the 'system', it may be that nothing can be done about it.  

Often there will be well developed strategies to prevent discussion - for example 'easing in', where people hedge around the topic. As soon as they, or others become uneasy, the topic is changed or dropped.

Dissociating (*) and sensory submodality shifts (*) may be used to link people to non-discussible themes in 'safe' ways so that some entry into the 'non-discussible' may be possible. 

Watch for high level (very abstract) inferences (*) that people may be making about others. Seek to have these specified using the language metamodel (*).

 

DISSOCIATING 

Dissociated recall or imagining involves being able to watch and/or hear ourselves in some context by seeing and hearing our self (and perhaps others) from a 'third' person perceptual position (*). This is a profoundly different experience to reliving the experience as it happened previously, such that we see things unfolding as if looking through our eyes. This is the associated position. Recalling in associated vision typically activates the emotional states that accompanied the original experience. In contrast, viewing the experience in a dissociated way typically results in far less or no emotional re-experiencing. 

This distinction may allow the exploring of the past without activating devastating emotion. Refer sensory submodalities (*), concentrating (*) downtime (*) and uptime (*).

 

DISTRACTING 

Distracting can be used in healing, especially where a person is experiencing pain.  

'Patch the clown asks the child if he wants to see his floppy fish. The child is exhausted from getting his burn bandages changed in the remote Russian hospital and when the child looks up and sees Patch for the first time with his ridiculous floppy plastic fish he is completely enchanted and tells Patch he is the most beautiful person he has ever met and then the little boy clowns with Patch as the nurses change the rest of his bandages and the boy is so lost in enchantment that he gives no evidence of pain as the nurses, with tears running down their cheeks at the profound beauty of the moment, finish their gruesome task.' 

Refer interrupt (*) and concentrating (*).

 

DOWNTIME 

'Downtime' refers to internal sensing by recalling or imagining seeing, hearing or feeling something, or becoming engrossed in thinking. When people go into downtime, concentrating (*) more and more of their experience on internal sensory experience, they can change to profound dissociating (*) from the here-and-now external happenings. This state is what's called 'everyday trance states'. Typically, we all enter into everyday trance states many times every day. Just ask a person what they did last week and typically you can see their eyes defocus as they go into internal to recall. Typically they can revert back to everyday reality instantaneously. Sometimes it may take a few moments to reorientate.  

While deeply into internal sensing or attending to their thoughts, they can be completely deaf and blind to the external world. However they still be able to attend at deeper levels (preconscious) to the nurturer. For example, they may still respond to, and take on healing suggestions. Refer sovereignty (*), ecology (*) and awareness of consequences (*). 

Downtime can be contrasted with 'Uptime (*).

 

EMBEDDED SUGGESTIONS, IMPLICATIONS, PRESUPPOSITIONS AND COMMANDS 

It is possible to 'bury' a suggestion, implication, presupposition or command within a sentence. This pattern may be used for creating healing possibilities that may be responded to at deeper levels and that may bypass critical aspects that may sabotage healing. Used with ecology (*) and respect for sovereignty (*). Refer ethics (*). 

General form:  

'Perhaps (softener) you can (embedded command).' 

Examples:

'Perhaps you can begin to settle down now, and it may well be that things can change without you having to do anything, as heart rate, and breathing, and all sorts of internal processes, can settle down without you needing to do a thing, and you can do any shifts that will make you even more comfortable now, and ....' 

This can be specified as: 

Perhaps (softener)

you can (sets up embedded command)

begin to settle (embedded command)

now (using time to set up a presupposition that they will begin to settle)

and (conjunction)

it may well be that (softly (may) sets up suggestion)

things (generalising - content free so allowing the person choice)

can (sets up suggestion)

change (presupposition - suggestion)

without you having to do anything (obviously true)

as heart rate (obviously true)

and (conjunction)

breathing (sets up suggestion to 'breath slower')

and (conjunction)

all sorts of internal processes (generalisation sets up suggestion)

can (sets up suggestion)

settle down (suggestion)

easily (presupposition)

and (conjunction)

you can (sets up embedded command)

do any shifts (generalised command)

that will (strong set up - using 'will')

make you (using 'necessity' distortion (*)

even more (assumes current level of comfort)

comfortable (embedded suggestion/presupposition)

now (using time to set up presupposition)

 

The general form of the above sentence is: 

'Perhaps you can B now and it may well be that C as D and E and F can G without you H and you can I that will make you J now and ....' 

where the letters in bold are suggestions or commands or help set these up.

 'Perhaps you can begin to settle down now and it may well be that things can change without you having to do anything as heart rate and breathing and all sorts of internal processes can settle down without you needing to do a thing and you can do any shifts that will make you even more comfortable now and ....'

 

ENRICHING 

A context may be set up which is rich with possibilities. Everyday life may be, for small moments or perhaps for a long time, 'enriched' - framed as healing wellbeing - as joyful, light - the healing power of playfulness and laughter - or spiritual - a glance - a smile - for perhaps a few hours - marked out - a boundary - and a beautiful setting with flowers and the setting sun.

 

ERGOTROPIC AND TROPHOTROPIC SYSTEMS

These two complementary systems are fully discussed in the associated page Healing the Mindbody.

 

ETHICS 

The following ethical frame-work is a model that may be used: 

For enablers and nurturers: 

  • to help others help themselves 
  • to use the self help action model (*) in supporting other people taking self help action in enriching wellbeing  
  • to recognise the worth of each individual  
  • to show respect for the integrity of others by responding to each person's unique resources (*) and by appropriately recognising and responding to the differences among people 
  • to be responsible for using their caring, sharing, playing, mediating and healing micro-experiences to increase people's knowledge, understanding, playfulness, welfare and happiness  
  • to make - while using their micro-experiences - every effort to protect the wellbeing of those seeking their support  
  • to use their micro-experiences only for purposes consistent with positive mutual outcomes 
  • to show respect for the integrity of all non-human life and non-life forms - nurturing the land, air, rivers and sea 

Personal Accountability 

Enablers and nurturers: 

  • to represent fully and accurately their own level of caring, sharing, playing, mediating and healing micro-experience, training, credentials and areas of competence.  
  • to encourage the spread of humane and playful micro-experiences within the general community. 
  • to accept responsibility for their work and its consequences 
  • to use every endeavour to ensure that their support is used appropriately and ecologically (*) 
  • to make every effort to continue to expand the limits of their own models and maps (*) of the world, and to increase their competence through new learning 
  • to only make such statements and claims in representing his/her actions that are true and accurate to the best of his/her information  
  • to make no statement or claim that gives false information about his/her actions or about actions of other Enablers and nurturers
  • to present the nature and purpose of their approach in language which can be understood and evaluated by other people 
  • to openly and freely represent the nature of outcomes and processes used in self help action.  
  • to offer referral to other enablers and nurturers should it become reasonably clear that the recipient of support provided by a enabler/nurturer is not benefiting from such support 
  • to openly and freely represent the nature of conflicts of interest involving those for whom they provide support  
  • to avoid exploitative relationships with others for whom they provide support

 

Recognition of Current Limits 

For enablers and nurturers:  

  • to recognise the current limits of their personal competence and of the caring, sharing, playing, mediating and healing processes, any other personal limitations and/or problems that might interfere with providing appropriate support to others.  
  • to seek feedback from others qualified to give it, where such limitations or problems are suspected 
  • to refrain from further support where their own limitations or problems would interfere

 

Public Discussion of the Together Approach 

Refer Together (*). For enablers and nurturers: 

  • to act publicly in ways aimed to enhance rather than detract from the community's perception of the humane, playful approach, its practitioners, or practices  
  • to make any statements to the others such that they provide balanced representations of the playful humanity model and its limits. Such statements will be aimed to inform others about the principles of humanity and playfulness, and to assist others in making informed decisions and choices. 
  • While a enablers and nurturers' personal standards and ethics are generally a private matter, the ethical standards of the humane, playful, together community take precedence insofar as they affect the public perception of the Together Approach.

 

Respect For Other Lifeways 

For enablers and nurturers: 

  • to sufficiently understand the competencies of related fields to make appropriate referrals to other groups.  
  • to show respect for micro-experienced persons in related fields by learning and acknowledging their customary procedures when interacting with them.

 

FLARE CONCEPTS 

Some thoughts and sensory experiences become anchored (*) or otherwise linked to other thoughts, sensory experience or behaviours. Perhaps as an example, for an 'angry young man', any mention of the word 'police' can trigger rage. Refer synaesthesias (*), strategies and loops (*) and sensory submodalities (*).

 

FRAME  

A frame 'sets off' and enriches a painting. Other things may be framed. Suppose you have decided to have a few friends over to your place. It is possible to 'frame' the time together in particular ways - We may set up a frame as we invite people. Some examples: 

  • 'It's to dance. Bring your drums and food to share.
  • We'll have a fire and catch up with what everyone has been doing.
  • Those that went to the big gathering up North can tell us what happened.
  • Think of some stories to tell. 

A 'frame' may be an actual or symbolic border - an edge, setting something apart, creating a space (*), a place (*) and/or context (*). A frame may help in constituting meaning. A frame can put a 'boundary'(*) on a context. This is a context of a 'particular kind'. This is what is going on. This is the 'definition of the situation' (*). The frame can assist us in making sense of what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. 

A frame can clarify the meaning of behaviour. For example, a person sees another jumping around outside in a 'crazy' fashion - clutching his shirt. Having the additional piece of information that a poisonous spider has fallen down that person's shirt 'frames' what's going on, or more particularly, reframes (*) 'crazy' into 'self care'. Framing and reframing can be extensively used in healing. Refer interrupt (*) 

Example - The fight 

'We see a fight going on down a lane. A shot is fired. Three men grapple the gun off a fourth. A mugging? Two men hold the gunman. A third is punching him. Call the police! Wait - further down the lane we notice two camera men and a women with a sound boom. A few others are standing with clip boards. Ah yes, they are making a film. That's what's going on! Four men rush out of a door in the lane and start bashing the men who are restraining the 'gunman'. Are they part of the film or have they also mistaken this for a mugging? A person with a clip board is yelling at them to stop. Does he want to stop the shoot for some reason because the entrance of the four into the fight scene was not quite right or are they really mistaken strangers? Wait! Here comes the police. It is really a fight? No, these are pretend police and its part of the story line. The police jump out and we hear one say to the other. 'Okay, make this look good!' And they run up the lane. Yes, they are part of the film? A second police car arrives and the old women calls out from a second floor window. 'I cant see it, but the shooting and fighting is down the lane. The police run up and pull their guns and jump out into the lane and yell for all to freeze. These are real police and they are mistaken? Or is the mistake also part of the film. We notice others filming from the roof tops. Are they part of the film crew or is this a film about making a film? Will someone please tell me what's going on?' 

Here we have an example of laminas (*) layer upon layer upon layer of embedded frames.

 

FRAME - DEFRAMING 

Deframing is to suddenly suspend or interrupt a frame - allowing the other person the freedom to have another frame emerge. 

An Example of Deframing: 

A person is about to hit another person. The person being attacked remains poised and says,  

'Do you know what I like about you? 

This remark has the potential to deframe the other person's reality from : 

'Hey you! Prepare to be hurt.'  

to  

'I'm confused about what's going on.' 

Refer the Interrupt Pattern (*) especially 'The Meat Cleaver story.

 

FRAME - FRAME MAKING 

Frames (*) can be 'set up' or 'made' in many ways.  

Example A: 

By using signs as markers and signifiers, eg. putting up sign at a festival:  

'Laceweb workshops are to be held here each morning at 10AM.' 

Example B: 

By using verbal and non verbal behaviours, eg. by simply saying 'X' is what is happening or using the language of assuming, possibilities, presupposing (*) implying, and arousing curiosity (*). 

Example C: 

After meeting an acquaintance on a bush track, saying: 

'I met a friend of mine who showed me a simple way she uses to lift herself when she gets very depressed and I tried it and it works wonders in a couple of minutes and you may want to use it and pass it on to your friends okay? Its as simple as this......'

 

FRAME - METAFRAMING 

A meta-frame is a frame on a higher logical level (*). It is the frame in which other frames take place. Like the 'first quarter' within the 'game'. Refer Laminas (*) and Frame (*). 

Example:  

The 'weekend camp-out' frame

within the

'nurturer development' frame

within the

'enabler development' frame

within the

'Laceweb development' frame.

 

FRAME - REFRAME 

Reframing involves replacing one frame with another. 

Example A: 

In context of pain:  

"Notice that sensation.'  

Reframe of 'pain' to 'sensation') 

Example B: 

Other: 'I have a head ache.' 

Nurturer: 'Excellent! This will give you an opportunity to try out some of the head ache cures.

I hope it doesn't go too quickly.'

 

Meaning Reframe:  

  • from 'pain awful' to 'pain excellent'
  • from 'nuisance' to 'excellent opportunity'
  • from 'go quickly' to 'it is best that it lasts for a while'

 

Context reframe:  

  • from 'giving sympathy' to 'healing learning opportunity'

 

FRAME - SETTING UP A 'DESIRED STATE' FRAME: 

Nurturer: 'What would you want to be happening?'

Other: 'I want to be able to remain calm - not lose my temper.'

Nurturer: 'Is that the most important thing you would like to explore now?'

Other: 'Yes."

 

FRAME - SETTING UP 'INTERRUPT' FRAME 

Often people will persist in behaviour that both limits them and limits us as enablers. For example, (i) repeating a strategy (*) that loops and escalates them into traumatised despair. We may set up an understanding with the other about, and get prior agreement to interrupt and stop them at any time during our time together. Refer Frame - 'Setting up 'need not to know' (*).  

For example:  

A palm out, fingers up, hand signal can be set up as an interrupt anchor (*).

 

FRAME - SETTING UP 'NEED NOT TO KNOW' FRAME 

Often people will seek to persist in behaviour that both limits them and limits us as enablers. For example, repeatedly telling us what we already know or do not need to know, particularly if the telling traumatises the other. We may set up an agreement with the other that we may interrupt and stop certain behaviours (*). Refer 'Interrupt' Frame (*).

 

FUTURE PACING 

This allows a person to check new aspects - strategies, experiences, micro-experiences and behaviours. The person imagines in an associated (*) way that they are in a future context involving aspects where they may experience the new behaviours and see what outcomes their get. Its a way of 'homoeopathically' (minimally) trialing a new micro-experience. Refer 'as if' frame (*).  

The nurturer may use the following to assist the person to imagine the future: 

For people who have no future, that is, they never imagine the future, the nurturer can use time line (*) and submodality processes (*) and all of the above processes to help the person 'create futures' (*).  

Once a person begins future pacing, the nurturer can calibrate (*) and watch for non verbal changes in the person as a validation of verbal reports the person can give after the imagining.  

If the person has difficulty spontaneously using the new micro-experiences, this is a good indicator to do more work in setting up the new ways. Alternatively if the micro-experiences work in future pacing, this is a good indicator of future successful use in everyday life. Refer Pseudo Orientation in Time (*).

 

FUZZY LANGUAGE 

Fuzzy language involves using language that 'almost makes sense'.  

This may be used to : 

Processes: 

The first part of sentence doesn't fit the second half.

Example A: 

The two sentences: 

'You've had a lot of things happening' 

and 

'You can learn from the things that happen.' 

may be merged to make the following 'strange' or 'fuzzy' sentence. 

'You've had a lot of happening(s) can be for a learning.' 

Example B: 

Meaning and word order is jumbled and said with confidence, or said with implied confusion. 

'Sometimes ehh....confusing....cant get it and....you know...comes clearer later....and that's okay....(head nod) yeh!....Like that.....' 

Notice the ambiguity (*) in the last two words. 'Like that' may have an number of meanings: 

  • I like that.
  • Do you like that?
  • You do like that.
  • It is like that.
  • Something like that. 

This is another example of intentionally using generalising and deleting (*) for healing purposes

 

GENERATING OPTIONS 

When people are stuck and/or persisting in problematic behaviours and strategies (*), nurturers may enabler a person to generate his/her own options and develop the micro-experience and inclination to do this in the future. 

Example: 

Nurturer: 'So you have found that the stranger you let live in your little

hut is growing drugs beside the house and you want everything

removed. What are you going to do about it?' 

Other: 'I don't know'. 

Nurturer: 'What are six different things you can do? What comes to

mind, now?

HELPING 

These notes are filled with practical micro-experiences in helping ourselves and others towards wholeness and well being.  

You may have experienced that the behaviours some people use to 'help' may not be helpful! Here are some examples: 

  • when the 'price' of help is having someone else run our life
  • when they attempt to:
    • deny our reality - 'This is what's really happening!'
    • tell us what we are thinking and feeling
    • impose their definitions of reality
  • explaining
  • judging
  • blaming
  • condemning
  • nagging
  • demanding
  • fault finding
  • shoulding - 'This is what you should/nt do.'
  • engaging in the very behaviours they tell us to stop
  • giving advice and opinions
  • telling us to tell third parties what to do or not do 

All of the forgoing is almost invariably not very helpful. Furthermore, it may be disempowering to both the 'helper' and the person supposedly being helped. 

People often play at being weak and helpless so that they can get others to rush in and 'help them'. They may in fact not be at all weak and helpless. Rather, they may be very skilful and manipulative. Unhelpful help also lays the 'helper' open to being manipulated by the receiver of the 'help' - who may begin making continual and inappropriate requests for help, for example, for you to do things for them. Typically, they then start blaming the 'helper' for things going wrong. 

Other: 'I tried what you said and it made it worse.' 

(The implication is, 'It's your fault so fix it for me'.)  

Other: 'So what should I do now?'

 

INFERRING 

To deduce, imply or conclude that something is a fact, consequence, or result. Often inferences are partly or totally matters of opinion. Inferences are often partly or totally incorrect and/or untrue. People tend to assume that their inferences are unquestionably facts and True with a capital 'T'. Typically, people never question their inferences. 

Often, people make inferences based on their prior inferences. And then they make further inferences on top of this till they are using third and fourth order inferences. It is highly likely that these are filled with opinions and things that are in no way correct or true. Again all of this is typically deemed to be absolutely true and a fact. 

For Example: 

'They are all dangerous people'

'There is not one good one among them.'

'I know what they are thinking.'

'They are all trouble makers.'

'They always go out of their way to irritate us'

'They will never change!'

'They think we are stupid.'

'They are worse than cur dogs and far more dangerous.'

'The only good one is a dead one.' 

Notice that these inferences are filled with generalisations, deletions and distortions (*). The metamodel (*) may allow exploring the truth claims. Refer discussing the undiscussible (*), relational mediating (*) and beliefs as guides to action (*).

 

INTERRUPT PATTERN 

Contexts 

When the safety of self, others or the focus person is at risk (death/serious harm)

To stop pathological/non ecological behaviours

Where over-adaptation creates rigidity

To interrupt loopiness

To get ecological outcomes quickly, with respect for others' sovereignty (*) 

Concepts/processes used 

     

    Process

    • create sudden unexpected shift in the context (*) and it's meaning
    • deny/interrupt the other's reality
    • create uncertainty and confusion (*) (even if momentarily)
    • leave deframed (*) or give new frame (*)
    • provide scope for (and reinforcement of) an ecological role for the other person in the new context

     

    Typical outcomes 

    • deframing of the other's reality
    • cessation of problematic state/behaviour
    • person unable to recover prior state/behaviour
    • move to ecological states/behaviours 

    Story example - The Meat cleaver 

    When the jail heavy arrives late for dinner you can't have only small bits of roast pumpkin left to give him. He has to have the same size as others or there's hell to pay. He'll ring your neck later. The answer - all bits have to be the same size. Fred's new to the jail kitchen - doesn't know this size bit. Fred the pot scrubber. Serving six for grievous bodily harm. Dangerous bastard. 

    Word comes that the dried food order's arrived. All except Fred go to trolley the stuff in. When they left, the vegie cook was about to do the first cut of the large blue grey pumpkin. The meat cleaver does the best job. From then on it is the big knife. Even cuts make even bits. No small bits for the heavies. Gotta remember that! 

    So all the prisoner-cooks leave Fred - all alone in the kitchen. Pots to scrub for roast. And before him, the pumpkin, the meat cleaver and the chopping block. Kung Fu time! Smash pumpkin time. And it's the only pumpkin. Bad mistake happening.  

    The meat cleaver raised for the death by a thousand chops. Brian walks in. Brian's a social worker. Has message for the vegie cook. Spots Fred about to chop the pumpkin. Realises big trouble rising!  

    'Hey Fred, you better not do that because....' Bad mistake! Remember! Fred's in for grievous bodily harm. Bad temper. Strong bastard. Hates being told. And he's got the meat cleaver in his clenched fist!!  

    Fred completely looses it. Off the planet. Grabs Brian by the shirt front. Spits words of venom into Brian's face. 

    'YouX#Y&X#$!!! Who the xz$#%@ do you think you are, trying to tell me what to X#$@ do. I'll X@#$...smash your #$@V face! You X#@Q#!!!! 

    Loosely translated - 'Prepare to die!' Unfortunately he's got the meat cleaver!! 

    Brian's held by shirt front, so his face is inches from Fred's face. Brian - calm, relaxed and smiling - suddenly leans his head around to Fred's left ear, whispering,  

    'Fred! Do you know what I like about you......?'  

    Brian returns to the front. Fred's stopped talking. Eyes glazed and rotating. Meat cleaver held high, frozen in space. Fred's confused. Real confused! His hand lets go of Brian's shirt. Drops slowly. Brian waves his hand slowly in front of Fred's eyes and then points to the meat cleaver.  

    'Hey Fred! Even though you were mad as a meat axe, (pointing at meat axe) you have stopped...... you have tremendous self control. That's what I like about you!' 

    Fred slowly shakes his head - looks at ground - looks around kitchen - puts meat axe on chopping board - takes a deep breath - lets out gruff sigh - walks back to pots as he looks back at Brian and says, 

    Man ! You're a kook! (translation 'crazy person') 

    Half and hour later Fred invites Brian to play tennis with him. Fred thrashes Brian in straight sets!' 

    Exercise: 

    Read through the notes in the above Pattern Interrupt Section again. Identify the following elements in the meat cleaver story: 

    • Identify the context(s) and shifts in context
    • The concepts and processes used by Brian
    • The micro-experiences, abilities, states and processes used by Brian
    • Potential outcomes for Fred and Brian and their future relating together

    Further Stories:

    The following stories will be written in due course. 

    • Gateway heart thump
    • Ham thief
    • Smith Street traffic violator
    • Help me shut window
    • Circle of beggars
    • Watching cherry trees
    • Turning to the rapist
    • New Year drunk
    • Doggy grab
    • Group bash
    • Quarter hour of freedom
    • Laundry heavy 

     

    LIMINAL 

    From 'limin' (Latin) meaning the threshold, the last step before the entrance. 'Liminal' experience is 'at the threshold' - being open to change - a turning point. Staying and 'working at the threshold' is to stay in liminality. The steps that lead up to the limin are preliminary. For example, see Frame (*). 

    Being 'liminal' may have the feeling of 'safe abandoning' of the old - to safely surrender to the moment in profound engrossment. 'Moment' may have a twofold sense - as in 'small amount of time' and as in 'force producing a moving or turn'. It may embody the shift: 

    • from ordinary reality to dissociating (*) and trance
    • to an increasing awareness of awareness
    • to mobilising both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems  

    Normally these two aspects of the nervous system work in opposite directions. If the energising system (sympathetic) activates, the slow-down system (parasympathetic) shuts down and vice versa. Refer Shifting States of Arousal (*), debriefing (*) and ultradian Rhythms (*). Liminal states may change this process so that both escalate - what some cultures call 'tuning' - and we can go into profound states of relaxed energy - typically accompanied by hyper-awareness. This profound liminal state is rich for new possible ways of being. 

    Enablers may set up liminal contexts and liminal spaces. People in liminal states may be for the time 'threshold people'. In the liminal state their attributes may be rather ambiguous. This is because the condition of 'liminality' and being a 'liminal person' tends to elude or slip through normal classifyings that locate places and positions in social space. 'Liminal people' tend to be neither here nor there; rather they may be betwixt and between the normal. Liminal states may be enriched with possibilities (*). 

    The ambiguous and indeterminate attributes of liminality may be expressed in rich metaphors and symbols such as: 

    • being invisible
    • being in darkness
    • returning to the womb
    • being in the wilderness
    • metamorphosis
    • forgetting
    • the light at the end of the tunnel
    • floating
    • drifting
    • rebirthing
    • the new dawn
    • flying
    • gliding 

    and as one person characterised it, the merging together the following three metaphors: 

    • the underground mole
    • the sheep huddled together for warmth on the cold day and
    • the lone far-sighted eagle on the high mountain.

     

    LISTENING 

    While such a common part of human experience, people are often poor at listening. One's internal thoughts can interrupt hearing another person. Good listeners remain silent internally. That is, they are not talking to themselves inside their head while attempting to listen to the other person. You're in effect temporarily deaf. To put it another way, internal hearing interrupts external hearing. 

    Effective listeners can recall what the other person said and how they said it. Poor listeners have little recall of what was actually said or have recall of only what the 'listener' interpreted the speaker as saying or what they think the speaker should have said.

     

    LISTENING - PROCESS AND CONTENT:  

    Very good listeners attend to both the process (how the person is saying something - eg., in an agitated way with eyes darting everywhere) as well as the content (what the person is saying. Typically people are very poor at process attending and become locked in and engrossed with content. 

    Exercise: 

    Refer exercise in reporting (*).

     

    LOGICAL LEVELS

     

    An information classing process whereby the higher the logical level the more inclusive and general the class, and the lower the logical level the more the specific the classing.

    A question to lower the logical level is, 'What specifically?'

    A question to raise the logical level is, 'To what class does that belong?' 

    Often paradoxes disappear when we consider that we are talking about two or more things that belong to different logical levels. 

    For example a 'symptom' is typically aversive and indicates some disease, sickness, trauma, malady and the like. 

    It seems perverse and paradoxical to 'prescribe the symptom' (*). Looked at within the 'diseases and their symptoms' level it doesn't make sense. From the higher logical level of 'healing diseases and their symptoms', prescribing the symptom does make sense because it can work.

     

    MAPS - INTERNAL REPRESENTATIONS 

    Have you ever shared an experience with a few others and then, when you have recalled it some time later, everyone seems to have a very different version of what happened. It's as if you were all at different happenings. This is rather a common experience. 

    It tends to happen because for one thing, different people attend to different aspects of what is happening. Some people who are very visual tend to see more of what's happening. Auditory people tend hear more of what's happening. People who have a preference for touching and feeling may get more of a feel for what is happening.  

    Some people are there but are in downtime (*) and not attending much at all to what is happening around them. They may have little recall at all! 

    Apart from these differences, people may further filter what they attend to. For example, some people tend to filter for what is, for them, 'right' about what is happening. Others may filter for what is, for them, 'wrong'. Others do not use this 'right'/ 'wrong' frame (*) at all. 

    Some attend to the 'broad sweep' of what is happening. They generalise

    Others attend to specific bits of what is happening and ignore the rest. They delete

    Others may skew or distort what they see, hear and/or feel. For example, they may use universals like: 

    • all
    • everyone
    • everybody
    • everything
    • no one
    • nobody
    • never
    • every time
    • always
    • continually 

    The may use necessities  

    For example: 

    • must
    • have to
    • necessity
    • necessarily
    • necessary 

    The may use impossibilities  

    For example: 

    • can't
    • impossible
    • not possible 

    For example: 

    'It was the same thing again. Every time we get together everyone gets upset and we can't do anything about it. Nothing! Everything about the mess is impossible to fix. We have to keep people apart. We must get this through to people.' 

    Because of the richness of life experience we all: 

    • generalise
    • delete and
    • distort 

    Refer metamodel (*). 

    Typically, we use these three processes when we make inferences (*) about others. We also use them when we make inferences based on our prior inferences. 

    The three processes, and filters like the ones mentioned above, account in some measure for differences between different people's view of the same event. 

    Apart from these filters, something else is happening. We do not 'receive' inputs like a camera or tape recorder. It is not 'straight recording'. Even as we are seeing and hearing, we are 'constructing' the sense we make of our senses, thoughts and feelings. We make our own 'representations'. We make, as it were, maps of the territory. And importantly, the map is not the territory! We would never make this confusion between a map and the chunk of land that it re-presents. And yet many people mistakenly view their map as THE TERRITORY - the Truth. 

    While filters assist us in coping with the massive and complex input from both outside and inside our body-mind, these same filters may result in non-ecological outcomes. 

    People vary in the extent their maps 'match' the territory. Some have very impoverished maps. This may distort every aspect of the person's being in their world including their experiencing of the passing moment, their relating with others, their recall of the past, and their imagining of the future. For example, trauma may result in impoverished and distorted maps. The latest research in memory suggests that every recall is a re-construction . 

    For example, some people may recall past traumatic events as if they are happening right before their very eyes again (refer associated (*) and sensory submodalities (*). Everything may be larger than life. Things may be closer - right in their face, as it were. To the extent they see things, these may be in shades of grey. There is no colour in their past. Re-seeing things in this way may be linked to the immediate firing off again of all of the awful feelings and the movement into problematic physiology (*). Every recall may re-traumatise. Even past good times may be hazy and in shades of grey through to black - with no colour and no sparkle. 

    Other people may recall a past trauma as if it is a very tiny visual image that is somehow placed way behind them to their left. It is a dissociated (*) image. That is, they can see themselves in the former time and place. It may be in colour. The recall may not be accompanied by any emotional reaction. This is a profoundly different way to recall than the way mentioned in the previous paragraph. Refer swish pattern (*). We reconstruct the past and there's all sorts of ways to do this! 

    Understanding all of the above has important implications. Sharing maps may greatly enhance understanding. It is invaluable in mediating.  

    Cultural differences adds another level of differences between maps. These differences may be identified, specified, accepted and celebrated. 

    The metamodel (*) is excellent for specifying the filters people use to construct their maps (refer calibrating (*)). Attending in uptime (*), using rapport (*) and listening (*) micro-experiences also help. All the above can assist in calibrating the way we and others constructs our separate maps. These micro-experiences and all of the other healing ways mentioned in this internet page may be used to assist ourselves and others to enrich our maps. 

    For example: 

    • Generalisations may be specified
    • Deletions may be recovered
    • Distortions may be challenged 

    As well: 

    • Other filters may be identified and their effect on outcomes recognised.
    • Alternative filters may be introduced to give glimpses of other worlds.
    • 'Corrective' emotional experience (*) may be set up that 'collapses' the non-ecological filter

     

    METAMODEL 

    Because of the richness of life experience, we all: 

    We use these filtering processes for everything we do. We use them in all aspects of language. We use them in making sense of what comes in via our senses. We can't attend to everything. These three processes are very useful in allowing us to cope with complexity. 

    Enablers and nurturers may help a person: 

    • specify generalisation
    • recover deletions
    • challenge distortions 

    Examples of Generalisations:  

    Lack of referential index Who/what referring to, poorly specified

    Verb unspecified

     Generalisations

    Examples of Deletions: 

    Deletions

    Comparison deletion Where a comparison is being made, but deleted

    Dimension deletion Where a dimension has been deleted

     Author deleted Where some idea or claim is made without identifying the author

    Examples of Distortions: 

    Necessity distortion Saying something is necessary, when it isn't 

    Impossibility distortion Saying something is impossible, when it isn't  

    Universal distortion Saying something is universally the case, when it isn't 

    Sentences may be full of the above patterns.

    For example: 

    'Action is down in our area and we need more enabling for our support group.' 

    It may be that, in the particular context the above sentence is stated, we may not respond at all. The other person may continue speaking. It may be that in responding to the above sentence we do not ask a question. 

    We may use the metamodel with the above example to generate many potential questions and observations about the way the person represents (*) the world to themself. To respond with a barrage of questions may overwhelm and not be ecological.

    However, in a particular context one or a few of the following questions may 'work' in specifying the above sentence.

     Verb unspecified How specifically is action 'down'

    Generalisation What action?

    Dimension Deletion Down by how much?

    Comparison deletion Compared to what?'

    Deletion Action by whom?

    Deletion In what contexts?

    Deletion What kinds of action

    Deletion About what?

    Generalisation Whose area?

    Generalisation Which area?

    Verb unspecified Down how specifically?

    Verb unspecified Enabled how specifically

    Lack of referential index Whose support group?

    Author deleted They need enabling - according to whom?

    Generalisation You say, 'We need.' Who need the enabling to take place?

    Deletion Who in the support group need enabling?

    Deletion What additional enabling is need?

    Deletion Who already have been involved?

    Deletion What enabling has happened already?

    Deletion When?

    Necessity Distortion What would happen if their was no enabling?

    Necessity What things other than enabling could happen?

    Speaker's maps:

    If visual: What's your view? How do you see this?

    If auditory: What do think? How's it sound to you?

    If kinaesthetic: What do you feel? 

    The sheer quantity of questions from just one sentence hints at the pervasiveness of generalising, deleting and distorting. If a person talks for a few minutes we may use the metamodel to help generate almost endless questions and a strong sense of their maps (*). Refer Rapport (*), Pacing (*) Leading (*) preferred sense mode (*) inferences (*) and sensory submodalities (*). 

    Micro-experience in using the metamodel allows this mass of potential 'entry points' to be at our finger tips'. It implies highly refined rapport (*), listening (*) and attending micro-experiences (*) and the ability to stay in uptime. By attending in uptime and listening while using the metamodel it is possible to select out of perhaps many hundreds of potential responses, one that is absolutely perfect for the moment - one that for example melts the tension, or that allows the flash of insight for yourself and/or the person or that goes to the heart of what is going on for the other person. 

     

    THE METAMODEL 

    Generalisations 

    Lack of referential index

    Standard questions: Who specifically? What specifically?

    Other: They all came.

    Enabler: Who specifically came?

    Outcome: Reference specified

     

    Verb unspecified

    Standard question: How specifically?

    Other: We went to the gathering

    Enabler: How did you go?

    Outcome: Verb specified

     

    Generalisations

    Standard questions: Who? What? When? Where, specifically?

    Other: Some of the elders are coming tomorrow

    Enabler: Who among the elders are coming? When?

    Outcome: Generalisation specified

    Deletions

     

    Deletions

    Standard questions: Who? What? When? Where?

    Other: Some were delighted.

    Enabler: About what?

    Outcome: Deletion recovered

     

    Comparison deletion

    Standard question: Compared to whom?

    Other: They have had more support.

    Enabler: Compared to whom?

    Outcome: Comparison recovered

     

    Dimension deletion

    Standard question: By how much?

    Other: They have had more.

    Enabler: How much more?

    Outcome: Dimension recovered

     

    Author deleted

    Standard question: According to whom?

    Other: Some were upset.

    Enabler: Who said so?

    Outcome: Author recovered

     

    Distortions

     

    Necessity distortion

    Standard question: What happens if it doesn't happen?

    Other: We have to meet.

    Enabler: What if we don't?

    Outcome: Necessity challenged

     

     Impossibility distortion

    Standard question: What happens if it does happen

    Other: We can't meet there.

    Enabler: What if we did