THE LACEWEB - Healing Ourselves and the World

Exploring the Healing Power of Love

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Self Help Healing Action

The page may allow the exploring of the healing power of love

It is usually good to start with our own experience. The following activity may help us to review our own experiences of love and bring it into greater awareness. Others have found it helps to set aside enough time to explore the following inner experience. They then read the description of the activity through and then take the time to go through it again slowly and as deeply as possible. Others have made a recording of it and then played it back to themselves. When they do this they allow plenty of time at the pauses (....) as this may allow time for things to unfold in experience. If they find that the pauses needed to be longer, so they have more time to experience things, they remake the tape.

Others using a guide to take them through the experience have found it useful to set up a finger signal to indicate to the guide to slow down and commence segments of the experience.

If you do this by yourself a few may find that towards the end they drift off. For some this may happen. If so, you will move off into normal refreshing sleep and wake refreshed. If you have other things to do you may want to set up an clock to wake you after a time. Here now is the experience:

Experiences of Love, and its effects

Perhaps you can......settle a little...giving yourself more to your surroundings and you may find that as you relax more and …..begin to let yourself go …..that the eyelids have a natural tendency to get heavy ……and close....just noticing the changes as you listen to this and first of all ......you may bring to mind....now..... a time when you had a very pleasant experience… when you felt unconditionally loved ..........feeling unconditionally loved.....an experience you can perhaps bring to mind now....an experience when you felt you were more loved than at any other time in your life....and you can wait with curiousity as that........comes to mind...now.....taking all the time for....that to come to mind ..... or for some....if this talk of unconditional love may be an unfamiliar idea.... then perhaps you can begin to imagine what that may be like.....to feel that…..receiving unconditional love ....... or perhaps recall a time when you saw someone receiving unconditional love from another person ....and recall that ......and then imagine placing yourself in a similar role....and perhaps you can bring any of these to mind now more clearly……and when you have that.... noticing where you are...as you enter more fully into that experience now...and have a look around in your minds eye and ......see what time of day it is.....noticing the direction of any light source….any colour …....if that is present....and sensing what you are wearing in this other place... and what you are hearing in this other place...and what you are in contact with...so that you can see if you can tell how you feel...being here in this loving experience again now...who is with you now and staying in this other time and place ...being there...and how that makes you feel and ......what is happening now in this past time...and who it is who is loving you now, and all the things that are happening....how it feels inside of you.....the parts of you involved in the feeling.....and taking all the time you want to experience that.......and keeping all those beautiful feelings with you .......and how to enter those pleasant states.....when you are ready....and knowing you can do this again in the future......you can say your farewells.....taking your time to do that...the sharing..... and your eyes may remain gently closed and keeping all those beautiful feelings with you….. as you return to being with me at (.......) on (say the day)....taking all the time you need ......and you can do that ...... now.... and perhaps you can ponder on what it is like for you to receive loving like that...some of the loving qualities of this person ....and perhaps in the future you may want to use some of those qualities in your own life and perhaps to notice how it feels to know that this person already shared those qualities with you......and that your memories of this person may help you to increase those qualities in your own being in the world .......and perhaps now you can enter into a pleasant safe future time and place where you have already been showing unconditional love to others......where you can look back to that future time….when you have been doing this loving and enter that time again where you are safe as you are giving and receiving unconditional love .....with one or more caring people …..entering that time more fully....seeing yourself now in that time and place....watching your self involved with that .......noticing what you look like......and hearing what is happening now.....getting a sense of all that is going on..... and then moving over and stepping into that ......so that you can see and be yourself and .....actual experience looking through your own eyes giving and receiving now unconditional Love now.....to feel that happening...... and taking all the time you want to do that….and knowing you can do this again in the future......you can say your farewells.....taking your time to do that...the sharing.....and keeping all those beautiful feelings with you as you return to being with me at (.......) on (say the day)....taking all the time you need ......and you can do that ...... now....becoming more aware of being with me.....moving your fingers and being in contact with (ground/chair/cushion etc) as you open your eyes and have a gentle stretch.....
You may want to make one or more drawings of that experience and then share the drawing with someone
And you may want to write about that experience...what you are feeling and thinking about it and any thoughts and feelings that may come to mind from deeper levels now
And perhaps you can find a symbol for those qualities and you may want to sketch the symbol as you find one. People often find that if they put a pen on the paper (or a finger in the sand) and start moving, that the symbol begins to emerge in the flow
And you may want to share this experience with two other people and if you like, invite them to do it too and to share their experience

And now a second experience:

And having already done this before you may find that ....as you relax ......more ......and begin to .......let yourself go ........that the eyelids have a natural tendency to...... get heavy.......and close....just noticing.......the changes..... as you.....listen to this again and perhaps you can.....now again have your mind.......go back and ......recall a time......when you yourself showed unconditional love to another person or persons....and if you have a sense for that... you can begin to do that ....or if this is an unfamiliar idea you can begin to imagine what that may be like.....to do that.....or recall a time when you saw someone showing unconditional love to another person and recall that …..and then imagine placing yourself in a similar role....and you can bring any of these to mind now - and certainly the personal experience of that in whatever way and ….when you have that....remember where you were.....and when that becomes clear now you can enter that time…..and place again in your minds eye as it were….and look around and notice things that are happening in your minds eye...perhaps…..noticing the light source......night or day.... noticing.... who it is you are showed this love to.....noticing that... and what is happening and perhaps now entering again into how you feel.....feeling......experiencing being unconditionally loving.....so as to re-discover .....how much of this love you can recall and re-experience now....re-experience being there with this person or persons again now and loving them....feel how you feel as you do that.....what you are doing physical and emotionally....... the sensations in your body now…..feelings and thoughts you are having ... and see if you can tell how you feel ....what it is like for you to give love like that.....and taking all the time you want to experience that.......and keeping all those beautiful feelings with you .......and how to enter those pleasant states.....and when you are ready....and knowing you can do this again in the future......you can say your farewells.....and return to being with me at (.......) on (say the day)....taking all the time you need ......and you can do that ......now.... as you open your eyes and have a gentle stretch.
You may want to make one or more drawings of that experience and then share the drawing with someone
And you may want to write about that experience...what you are feeling and thinking about it and any thoughts and feelings that may come to mind from deeper levels now
And perhaps you can find a symbol for those qualities and you may want to sketch the symbol as you find one. People often find that if they put a pen on the paper (or a finger in the sand) and start moving, that the symbol begins to emerge in the flow
And you may want to share this experience with two other people and if you like, invite them to do it too and to share their experience

Glimpsing consequences of Blocked Love, and their effects

This exercise may allow you to have far greater choice and flexibility.

Many have found that a profound healing experience is discovering how to recall in a way that separates out memories from the feelings that were associated with the memory - so as to begin to reclaim our wellbeing.

This next experiencing may allow us to, in a sustainable and self caring way - have a sense - a glimpse in a very caring way - of all the negative consequences caused by lack of love.

This may help us to focus our minds and wills upon the importance of increasing the loveflow in the world.

It may also may motivate us to want to learn more about the process of forgiveness, to heal and enrich our forgiving.

Forgiving has something to do with no longer continuing to harm or punish ourselves because of what others may or may not have done. It has something to do with no longer continue to diminish our overflowing love, joy or freedom because of the real or imagined wrongs done by others, or because of any outer circumstances.

The Forgiving Process has something to do with cancelling all the conditions that we may have placed upon ourselves which may be preventing the flow of love, joy and vitality through us, independently of the behaviour of others or any circumstances.

The forgiving process may place all sorts of conditions on our relating with others so we are not treated as a doormat and trampled upon and at the same time it may have all of our love flowing freely.

Others have found it useful to set aside enough time to do this activity thoroughly.

Have you been in a situation where you could look in two mirrors at the same time so you can see yourself from different angles …..so you can watch yourself doing things......if so you can recall doing that now...as you imagine doing that again...taking the time to do that.......and you may have seen one or more photos of yourself and you can imagine seeing a pleasant photo of yourself now as you imagine hold it up in front of you.......and some can do this easily or if this is strange and difficult you can talk to yourself and just imagine you are doing the following things or imagine feeling doing this....as others have found that just imagining doing these things works just as well ....so imagining seeing that photo of your self....and noticing what you are doing in the photo.....and looking at the background....to identify the place...........or imagining a pleasant photo of yourself....now..... and make it a coloured photo.....noticing the colours...........and then making the photo large......so it is about half a metre wide and high …..and notice what that change does to your experience........ ......and then make the photo into a black and white one and notice the changes in you as you see it this way......and then shrink this black and white photo to being the size of a postage stamp........and notice how you feel looking at yourself this way ....and then have the small black and white photo .....in your minds eye five metres away.....leaning it at the base of a tree….. and look at yourself in the photo from 5 metres away.......noticing how that feels.....then have the photo 10 metres away in front of you.....and notice the difference....and then 30 metres away slightly to the right of you.......so you know that is where it is......to get a sense of that.......now swish the photo quickly into your hands and have it large and now something different…..imagine a person has just taken a colour photo of you holding the other photo.......so you can now imagine looking at yourself looking at your self....... and get a sense of doing that....looking at this new photograph....and check how you feel about the orginal photo now as you see yourself holding it in the second photo......and then make the photo of you looking at the first photo into a black and white one and notice the changes in you as you see it this way......and then shrink this black and white photo to being the size of a postage stamp........and notice how you feel looking at yourself this way ....and then do what you did the first time and place the small black and white photo .....in your minds eye five metres away.....leaning it at the base of a tree and see yourself from 5 metres.......noticing how that feels.....then place it 10 metres away from you.....and notice the difference....and then 30 metres away slightly to your right.......so you know that is where it is......to get a sense of that.......now swish the photo quickly into your hands and have it large and in full colour to see what that shift does to your experience...... and then step into the photo so you are again holding the original photo...... and you may have noticed that your emotions and feelings changed as you made these changes and we made changes to the colour, size, and distance of the photograph......now explore what it is like to change the original photo to black and white and imagine it moving away round to your left out about 3 metres......and get a sense of how you feel having it there......then in your minds eye have it move around behind you to your left and back 20 metres.....and sense how that feels.......then have it move back to the horizon......so you cant see it though you know that is where it is...... and sense how that feels...and now swish the photo back to being right in front of you and make it half a metre square and colourful and have it revert to being the first photo so you can see yourself in that pleasant experience and step into that photo so you are actually back their again experiencing that again for real….. and take your time to do that….and say your farewells……and keeping the good feelings return to being with me now at (place) on (say day)

Others have found many possibilities flowing from the above experience.

In doing the previous experience you may have noticed that with each of our senses we can experience in different ways. In the visual mode we may be able to see in our minds eye:

black and white and shades of grey
colour
size
shape
distance
three or two dimmensional
location
as if out our own eyes (associated)
we can imagine seeing ourselves doing things (dissociated)

to name a few submodes.

Some find that reliving something larger than life as if it is rehappening in full colour readily allows them to retap into the feelings.

Some find that their feelings are activate simultaneously with recalling seeing something. One 'fires off' the other - see and immediately feel. Others have found that feelings are far less intense and slower to arise from what they are seeing if they reduce the visual image to shades of grey, to a two dimmensional still image (like a photograph) and if they place the image slightly to the left and way behind them. They can be further disconnected by turning the still photo to one where they are watching themselves in the photo, that is they are in a dissociated way of looking. They do this before they store the image behind them. We use the expression, 'put the past behind us'. People who want to distance themselves from the painful past may literally do that. By moving the picture very quickly (swishing) to the back and leaving it there 3-5 times it can be stored there. Start with another similar photo on each swish. That is don't swish the first one back again to the front.

Others, without even noticing that they have done this have taken all of the visual memories of giving and receiving of love...all the good times in their past and turned them into small, black and white still photo like images in their mind and stored them so far behind them that they can not reconnect with the joy.

Having this information, some have found that they can leave the 'painful' memories behind in a way that separates the imagined from activating pain, and bring their good memories to the front so they may reconnect with joy.

Think for a moment of areas of the world where you are aware there is lack of love, where instead of love there is resentment, hate, envy, jealousy, fear, grief, guilt, false guilt....

It has been said: "One who hates another (blocks love) digs two graves".

When love is blocked the following changes in our body may occur:

Our muscles may tighten, causing postural imbalances or pain in neck, back and/or limbs.
Headaches may occur.
Muscle tension squeezes the joint surfaces together decreasing bloodflow, making it more difficult for the blood to remove waste products from the cells and tissues. It reduces the supply of oxygen and nutrients to the cells. Both these contribute to delayed or inadequate tissue repair during sleep, impairing recovery from injury, arthritis, etc.
Our teeth may clench, especially at night, contributing to dental bills for problems with our teeth and jaw joints.
Injury through inattention, accident, or violence is more likely.
The bloodflow to our heart is constricted.
Our digestion is impaired.
Our breathing is restricted.
It is now being to be realised that our immune system functions less well. (Refer Mindbody Healing)
If we have a tendency to allergy, the level at which the allergic response tends to trigger off can be reduced, so that allergic symptoms occur more frequently.
We become more vulnerable to infections, and perhaps cancer.
We feel bad, moody, irritable, and so on, and our mind is less able to see its way through problems and difficulties.
Making decision can become harder.
We may become depressed, - even suicidal.
Our creativity is reduced or even blocked.
In these and other ways our "stress reserves" are constantly draining away, like water from a leaky bucket.

The list goes on. Indeed, it becomes a list of many of the conditions seen by doctors all over the world. And while unforgiveness may not be the sole cause of all of them, it is not unreasonable to say that it increases vulnerability to them. It can "set the scene" for them and delay, or even prevent recovery.

The effects of unforgiveness on relationships can lead to:

Stony silences
The sweet "Yes, dear" which really means "No! I cannot stand this!"
Rows
Various sexual tensions and dysfunctions
Verbal and non-verbal abuse between adults, and from adults to children, including violence, sexual, educational, spiritual and ritual abuse
Decreased productivity in the workplace
Subtle sabotage of ourselves and others
Tension, bad atmosphere or "vibes" at home or work

This list, too, could be extended, and represents dis-ease in the body of a person, family, nation, or indeed, of humanity itself.

You could also explore this in a purely personal way at first. What have been the effects of resentment, lack of love and lack of forgiveness in your own life? In the lives of people you know?

Is it easier for you to do this for places further away, or for you own self and close associates?

We invite you to play with the above experiences. We suggest that at first you see something 'in your mind's eye' and then make one of the above changes, and then notice the difference the change makes and then return what you are seeing back to the original. Keep making and restoring separate changes till you find the ones that make the most difference to your experience. These ones are the 'potent' changes. You may find that 'size' is very important. Others may find location (near - far, or back - front, or right - left) make big differences. For some, a combination, such as a change to 'small and behind on left', makes the potent change.

Many have found that seeing themselves, rather than personally reliving it as if it is happening again, 'fires off' a far less intense feeling response. If this is the case for you, you may want to separate painful feeling from memories by revisiting the memory in a new way. Form the memory framed with the changes that 'work' for you. It may be that most useful 'framing' of the memory has you in a small black and white photo (two dimensional) and you are in this particular photo watching yourself in the context. This means that you are twice removed from reliving it. Suppose that way behind you to the left is the most 'neutral' spot for you. You are imagining looking at a photo that depicts you looking at yourself. This photo may be way in front of you. Now start to bring the photo slowly closer to you such that it does not increase emotion, and when you sense that it is close enough to you, then suddenly swish the photo very fast around to your left and far behind you. Cease the experience and open your eyes. Then create a new photo identical to the other one and place it way in front of you like before, and then start to bring it back as before, and then when you sense it is right to do it, swish it back behind you as before. Do this three or four times.

You may then want to test your outcomes. Go back and recall your prior experience and test how you respond emotionally. Many find that the spontaneous see-feel awful pairing has been severed. You can recall without being so devastated or even without stong feelings necessarily emerging at all.

Share your experience of doing these things with others.

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